Because of you…

Because of you…

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

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Lick me!!!

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

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Soda Poop!

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

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Poor Poor Penny, please die already.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

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Who needs a bodyguard when you have gazillion angels!

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

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So cold…. so cold…

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a wet dog on a hot day.

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You smell something?

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes

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Yey! friends forever!

.

I no longer drink Pepsi since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans .

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We refuse!

One thought on “Because of you…

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