EXCUSE ME, PLEASE
These are excuse notes from parents (including ORIGINAL SPELLING) collected by schools from all over the US.
* “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.”
* “Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.”
* “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and had her shot.”
* “Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
* “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”
* “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very closed veins.”
* “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He had very loose vowels.”
* “Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre?…hmmmm…dyrea?…mmmmmm… direathe..hmmmm, the shits.
* “Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”
* I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.”
* “Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”
* “Anne was absent December 11-16, because she had fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.”
* Please excuse Joan for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.