Excuse me, please

EXCUSE ME, PLEASE

These are excuse notes from parents (including ORIGINAL SPELLING) collected by schools from all over the US.

* “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.”

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* “Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.”

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* “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and had her shot.”

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* “Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”

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* “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”

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* “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very closed veins.”

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* “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He had very loose vowels.”

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* “Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre?…hmmmm…dyrea?…mmmmmm… direathe..hmmmm, the shits.

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* “Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”

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there it is!

* I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* “Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* “Anne was absent December 11-16, because she had fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Please excuse Joan for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

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